I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I deserve this hangover.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
