yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
