weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
