We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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