i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
