Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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