when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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