I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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