Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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