When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
