My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
