I hate your face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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