In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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