But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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