Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
