God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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