just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
