he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
