Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
