what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
