Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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