Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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