He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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