C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
