none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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