I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
