My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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