Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
