That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
