True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
