I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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