Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She even gives head with a lisp.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
