Apparently you make a good broom.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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