Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
