Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
