It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
