11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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