So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
