I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
