My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
