If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
