I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
MIDGETS
????
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
