i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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