Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
