The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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