i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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