this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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