Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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