Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
