And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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